Destiny?

Where does one look for inspiration? Sometimes it comes in form of a person, sometimes as a long forgotten memory, or sometimes as words in a book you are reading.

Inspiration is not something which comes from outside and needs to be absorbed. In fact, it resides within us. We just need a trigger to bring it to the surface. And that trigger can be any of things mentioned above.

Purpose and Passion is what drives us and makes us happy and feel fulfilled. Even mundane tasks such as doing dishes can be a joyous activity if we go with the flow. Ikigai calls it microflows. Mindfulness tells us to be what we are doing, dissolve the ego and become one with the task, i.e. no distinction remains between the task and the doer.

Live in the moment – While this is very true and key to happiness, we cannot turn a blind eye to the future. Most of the texts that I have read regarding this topic seem to skip this part. I have been trying to create a framework that would work for me to bring these two together.

Assume life is a hyperbolic curve, with things going blurry with increased y-axis coordinates (assuming y-axis to be a scale of time). Present is where most of the focus has to lie and this will be in place all the time. Near future is something we need to review once in a while, but not ponder over more than needed. As we go deeper into future, we can see future as a theme, rather than an exact representation. Future can also be looked at as a choice between multiple themes, or just a blank slate (if we are unsure of where we want to see ourselves) – whatever be the theme, we need to be cognizant of it – And of course keep in mind that things can change, and will change.

I am a believer in destiny. ‘If you believe that everything is destined, why even care to do stuff?’ – Why, really? Because if we just leave everything to be as is,not contributing anything to self or world, life becomes void of passion and purpose, and you put yourself in a state of limbo which is different from death only in fact that blood still continues to run in our veins. If you astray from path of Karma, your soul weathers away, bit by bit.

I wish to write again, that too frequently. Worrying a lot about quality of my writing has kept me in a writer’s block for a long time now. This is one of my short term themes – Write more and see for yourself if you still like it as much as you did in the past.

Journey

The gift of new beginnings,
The sorrow of unfinished journeys.

The promise of new experiences,
The miss of a lost touch.

Some old faces. Some new ones.
Mornings and Nights.

I looked at the horizon.
Last reminiscence of a setting Sun.

A string that binds past to the future.
And connects place to place.

Where can I find that string, I wonder.
Whom should I ask for it?

A voice echoes within me.
The string is you. You yourself are the string you are looking for.
Never let go.

प्रेत आत्माएं

प्रेत आत्माएं मच्छरदानी के अंदर नहीं प्रवेश कर सकती, ये ज़ाहिर सी बात है। ऐसा क्यों होता है इसके कई कारण हो सकते हैं। हो सकता है की प्रेत आत्माओं को मच्छरदानी खोलना ही ना आता हो। लाचार मच्छरों की तरह वो भी आपके इर्द गिर्द सिर्फ मंडराती रह जाती हैं। ये भी हो सकता है की किसी अन्य युग में इन्हे कोई ऐसा श्राप मिला हो जिससे इनका प्रवेश वर्जित हो गया हो। या तो इन्हे भय हो की एक बार अंदर आ जाएंगी तो बाहर कैसे निकलेंगी। रात में सोता हुआ आदमी अक्सर लात घूंसे चलाता रहता है।

प्रेत आत्माओं की अपार शक्ति में सिर्फ यही एक भेद है ऐसा नहीं है । जग जाहिर है की अगर आप सर से पैर तक चादर ओढ़ के सोएं तो ये आत्माएं आपसे संपर्क नहीं कर सकती । वे इंतज़ार करती हैं की कब आप सांस लेने के लिए अपना सर क़िले से बाहर निकाले और वो आपको अपने दर्शन दे। और कहीं गलती से आपने पैर निकाल दिया तो वो आपको घसीटते हुवे बिस्तर के नीचे ले जाएंगी । बिस्तर के नीचे ही तो इनका साम्राज्य होता है । ऐसा सिर्फ हमारा मानना नहीं है । पश्चिम के प्रसिद्ध गायको एमिनेम एवं रिहान्ना ने भी अपने गीत ‘मॉन्स्टर्स अंडर माय बेड’ में इसी बात का ज़िक्र किया है।

अब आप पूछेंगे की अगर आपके पास ना ही मच्छरदानी है और ना ही चादर, तो आप इनसे कैसे बच सकते हैं? इसका भी एक सीधा साधा उपाय है। आप बस अपनी आँखें ना खोले। अगर लघुशंका भी आयी है तो बिना आखें खोले धीरज से आगे बढ़ें। प्रेत आत्माएं आपके साथ चलेंगी पर आपको किसी प्रकार का नुक्सान नहीं पहुचायेंगी। उनके भी अपने कुछ उसूल हैं जिनमे से एक ये है की आपको वो धोखे से आहत नहीं करेंगी। जो भी करेंगी आँखों के सामने करेंगी।

इन्ही सब तरकीबो के प्रयोग से मैं बचपन से इन आत्माओं के साथ लुका छुपी खेलता आया हूँ। अकसर मुझे एहसास हुआ है की ये आपको परेशान नहीं करना चाहती, अपितु ये भी बस आपके साथ खेलना चाहती है। फिलहाल में ये सब बत्ती बंद कर के मच्छरदानी के अंदर से लिख रहा हूँ। बड़ी बड़ी बातें करना आसान है मेरे लिए क्यूंकि मैं अपने सुरक्षा कवच में मजे से हूँ। किसी का परिहास करने का मेरा कोई मकसद नही है। ऐसा मैं आस पास सबसे कह रहा हूँ। आखिरकार ठण्ड का मौसम है और रात में बाहर निकलना पड़ सकता है। आप सबसे निवेदन है की सावधान रहे सतर्क रहे।

Work from Home

  • All plans about following a fixed routine has gone to pieces. I was very vigilant about using this time to learn, introspect and improve on a few things. But after few weeks – What for? Things just feel into a long inertia and now one has to struggle to get back to track. But again – What for?
  • “It would be very easy to stay all time at home. Self is the best company that one can get” – Nothing can be farther from truth. At least, not for me. Change of environment is essential. With time every part of the house gets linked to a particular emotion/behavior, and you don’t even realize how sitting at a particular place takes to you a different tangent.
  • Mumbai to Lucknow has been a welcome change. But again, finding it hard to stick to a laid-down routine. Finding it hard to write or study something late in the night – Used to be the best time of the day for me, at home, to learn and read about new things.
  • You realize the value of time only with time
  • When things are not going your way, the best you can do is to be aware that things are not going your way. And try to see light at the end of the tunnel.
  • Have to find a way to travel – Thoda rainbow dekhna hai 😀 May be December – let’s ‘see’
  • Dogs are <3
  • Cut off from Social Media for some time – Kaafi toxic and negativity. Video games maybe.
  • 📖 Pride and Prejudice, Panch Parmeshwar (Premchand), ‘What Do You Care What Other People Think? – Richard Feynman, As a Man Thinketh, Cloud Atlas

#MumbaiRains

It has been raining pigs and cows since yesterday. I woke up in the middle of the night to find that the windows that I left open, only for the breeze to pass through, had no conception of differentiating between wind and water – And I was basically camping in my room, with an unwelcome midnight bath.

Raju, the pigeon which has been nesting on the window panes, decided that if there was an apt time to move in, this was it. ‘Not afraid of humans anymore?’, I asked him. And like so many people around me, he too decided to ignore me. I was not feeling adventurous enough to take him on a tour around WadalaHouse and let him know his place in the scheme of things. So I left him in peace.

Raju – bin bulaaya mehmaan

My air conditioner has again broken down within 3 days of repair – Not that I need it right now – but better have it and not need it, then need it and not have it. No, it did not break down due to rains. Nor due to overuse. It appears that the warmth of the other side of AC is a perfect place for squirrel’s nesting. She feels that there is absolutely no reason for her to shift her base, even if her nest is at risk of being swept away every now and then, even though once I swept her nest away with a tiny squirrel in it, only to discover it later and spending next 24 hours trying to reunite him with her mother – Maybe I ended up encouraging her with my activities.

tiny squirrel

I realized that kids now might never know the concept of Rainy Day – If it’s raining classes will just be held online. Students in the last year of their graduation will never get the chance to do all the hooliganism that they planned as ‘super senior’ – No farewell parties, overflowing alcohol. Pandemic has brought forth scenarios that were never thought of.

colors of rain <3

Also – parrots are spies. And arrogant. And irritating at times. They act cute when you feed them, concealing their agenda. But not for long. Never cross a parrot, if you would take my advice – But why would you, it is an unsolicited advice. One should not pay attention to everything everyone says.

Russian Spy Mithendra