Apparent Happiness

“Like most misery, it started with apparent happiness.”
― Markus Zusak, The Book Thief

I will be waking up tomorrow not looking forward for a GoT episode. There will be rains though. Nothing else to look forward to. The morning will come and #mondaymotivation and #mondayblues will start trending next to each other. My excitement quota on Monday morning has been rather limited of late. There has been spikes but the overall mood tend to be rather gloomy.

Death. Is it a Friend? Is it an Enemy? Or is it neither? I recently read a book narrated by Death. The Book Thief. Death’s general tone, here, is more of a storytelling rather than a thriller. There is not a lot of anxiousness and excitement as you move forward. Yet I was glued to it till the very end.

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Ekla Cholo Re

If they answer not to thy call walk alone,
If they are afraid and cower mutely facing the wall,
O thou unlucky one,
open thy mind and speak out alone.

When you face storms of troubles,
Darkness overpowers the truth,
When the world bows to the fear,
Be the fire that lights up the darkened world while burning itself.

 

Courtesy : Kahaani

Nadaan Parindey

I have been very irregular on my blog of late. There are many factors behind this sudden cold war between Me and Magical Me. One being the lack of time and the other being the lack of urgency. Life, right now, is too idle yet too hectic. The days that are passing by are too long yet too short. The expectations for the future that I have employed are too fancy yet too void. And the hope that I keep lingering to are too optimistic yet too pessimistic.

Don’t worry I have not come here to play with words right now. Just a regular update of what is going on in my too boring yet too ecstatic life. Heard a lot about Rockstar and so decided to give it a watch. After the Ra-One catastrophe (thanks to sudden mental attack that drove Abhishek to drag me to the hall), I knew that I am in for a better watch anyways. But truly speaking I found the movie simply awesome. This is not from a critics point of view neither is it a fan’s biased opinion. Movie was awesome and so were Ranbir Kapoor, Mohit Chauhan and obviously, Mr. A. R. Rehman. I have literally fell in love with the tracks of the movie and Rockstar made my day.

I met my Hogwarts family yesterday and frankly speaking I never thought that we all could be at the same place at the same time one day. But it happened and I am really pleased that it happened. And people if you are listening, trust me it’s the first but nor definitely the last time. 😉

I am missing Delhi, more than Lucknow even. Mumbai is an awesome place, there is absolutely no doubt about it. It’s safer, it’s bigger and it has everything a soul can expect to have at a place-to-be. But still there is something about Delhi I don’t find in Mumbai. May be it’s the attitude. May be it’s the rocking spirit or May be it’s the vibrancy. Or May be there nothing special about Delhi but still the place I long to be right now. I am missing that chill right now. It’s midway in November and I still sweat if I go for a walk in the evening. Man am I missing those chilly days right now. Course I am. I am missing those night outs in the shrill cold that literally numbed every part of your body. I am missing those morning walks with shivering body and chattering teeth. I am coming very soon Delhi, very very soon.

Time is just ticking by and slowly, but surely, I am getting serious towards everything. By everything I mean the professional life that is waiting for me with open arms and hidden dagger. By everything I mean the near future which waits for me full of promises and treason. By everything I mean that world which is desperate to have me as it’s part but is deprived by the honor by the reluctance which pushes me away. Time will tell how everything turns out to be. And that reminds me that I have still not a received a mail from CR about tomorrow’s schedule. By the look of things I have a day off tomorrow courtesy Children’s Day (unless a mail lands in my inbox at 6 in the morning and my room partner interrupts my sweet morning dreams).

The First Test

So here I am. Somehow sneaked in some time to blog amidst my end term examinations. I have continued with the examinations part in MBA just from where I left it in B.Tech. But there is a “slight” difference. In engineering, the day before the exams you wouldn’t have found us going around places and talking to each other in terms of the next paper we were supposed to have. The day before the Digital Image Processing exam we were not trying to process every information out of any random image we got. The day before cryptography we were not talking to each other in cryptic statements. Neither were we boasting of the immense database we had, the day before DBMS paper.

But here in MBA, just before the day of exam, everyone everywhere appear to get in the complete mode of the exam we are supposed to have. This doesn’t mean that everyone is glued to notes and tutes trying to cramp everything one could get his hands across. But just by the behavior, you could actually tell the paper one have the next day. We are three papers down, four to go, one scheduled tomorrow. Let me give you a sneak peek into the behavioral analysis of a common stupid student the day before exam.

Act 1 Scene 1 : Eve of Economics Paper
Location : Mess

Dude 1: So howz your preparation like??
Dude 2: Don’t ask that question. With every other slide that I look into, my concentration and the willingness to study keeps on decreasing. The law of marginal utility is taking its toll on me too. Wassup with you?
Dude 1: My preparation ceiling has already been set by my lack of prior preparation. So basically I have nothing left to study now as it would only lead to a non binding intersection between the knowledge and the learning curve.

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Act 1 Scene 2 : Just after the economics paper
Location : On the way down the 96 steps

Dude 1: How was it?
Dude 2: The information that was required was in surplus while the information that I had was in shortage. No further discussion please. Please

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Act 2 Scene 1: Eve of Industrial Engineering Paper
Location : Pond (with a lot of externalities influencing the conversation)

Character 1: I am not studying anything. My attendance is short and no matter how much I study I won’t get a grade better than P. So studying for the paper is not advisable from the productivity point of view since output is intangible.
Character 2: My preparation is very unbalanced right now. I am just trying to find a few measures to make it balanced. Any suggestions?
Character 3: Try finding that 20% of the syllabus from which 80% of the paper would be framed. I suspect Pareto would have his say here too.

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Act 2 Scene 2: Post Paper Scene
Location: Just outside the classroom.

All the characters unified: Studied so much but to no avail. This is a learning curve for me. It looks like the time I am going to dedicate to study will go down with every consecutive paper.

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Act 3 Scene 1: Just before the Finance Paper
Location: In the examination hall

Specimen 1: What is the status quo?
Specimen 2: Can’t say as of now. I have done my part and credited a lot of efforts in the preparation. Let’s see how much marks are actually debited into my grade sheet.

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Act 3 Scene 2: Post Paper
Location: Sutta shop

Specimen 2: Royally screwed. It was Liabilities all the way. No assets No profit. Only loss loss and loss.

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Act 4 Scene 1: Pre Communications paper scene
Location: PPO Road

Drunkard 1: My parent ego state is forcing me to study. My child ego state doesn’t want to study but is compelled by the parent. But my adult ego state is asking me to make my way to the Shri Krishna Bar and learn some communication skill by interacting with people while in semi conscious state of mind. Hail Eric Berne. Hail Bakar skills.

………………

That’s it folks. As it would have been very clear till now, I have a communications paper tomorrow and three paper post that too. And I assure you nothing is going to change. It’s a dynamic field we are in and the role play is something that will continue till the last paper. And just for the records, that drunkard in the last scene was not me 😛 :P.

P.S. Few of the conversations posted here could be “credited” to the witty fb status of few of my batchmates. The list is ever growing but there is ceiling set on the space and time limit too, so had to cut it short. 😉 .. Wish me luck for tomorrows paper. Sayonara.

P.P.S. This was written in a hurry. So please ignore any grammatical errors. Thanks 🙂

The Transition

It was this very time of the year … The year was 2007 … B.Tech 1st semester … My attendance was just next to the optimum … I had scored heavily in the sessionals … My assignments were as good as it could have possible been … Yet I was anxious … Yet I was apprehensive … Yet I was skeptical about my internal marks …

And 3 years later … right now as I sit at my desk writing this blog … I have less than 15 percent of attendance this semester , to support my cause … Neither have I created an awesome impression in front of the faculty members … Bunking the final internal viva didn’t help either … My name being listed in the defaulters’ list , one of the “Mr. I know it all” faculty has already announced a mind boggling zero out of twenty for few of us … Plus I have almost forgot what the word “assignment” exactly mean …

But still .. I don’t give a damn about how many marks they are going to give me … I really wish to check if the guy does rate us zero … I really wish to see how low can I really go in terms of internals …

After a successful R and D analysis , I have come out with a few interesting facts supporting this acute transition … When I entered this thing called B.Tech , I was under the illusion that marks are something that represents the only parameter to rate your knowledge ( Don’t blame me for this … This is what we are taught in 10+2 in our schools ) … Don’t worry .. I am not going gaga about our education system once again … Have already done that a zillion number of times .. 😛 😛 … But with time many of us realized that this is not something which is going to be the key factor in the long run … And for the few unlucky ones who still date the books 24 x 7 … I feel really very very sorry ( No offence intended 😛 😛 ) …

Another reason for my abnormal behavior in the first semester was the fact that I desperately needed a branch change … Computer Science was the thing I aimed at , all the way … And did I achieve the same .. Yes I surely did … And with time I knew how lucky I was to jump from Electronics to Computers … Not because the amateur hacker who used to hack orkut accounts for some time pass was turning into a professional hacker … Not because the budding web designer was becoming the next big thing … With time I found out that the course I was pursuing ( UPTU + CSE ) was the perfect platform for any kind of preparation … Minimum input , maximum output … 😉 😉

Pre semester exams have commenced from today … I have already bunked today’s exam … The only thing that is crossing my mind every now and then is FMS ( and not the semesters or pre semesters …  accompanied by one or two trivial matters that maintain a permanent residence in a corner of my brain 😛 😛  ) , which is scheduled to be held on sunday …

And here I am .. sitting at my work desk writing this blog .. looking back at the way things were .. and the transition it has undergone to come to this .. And I am sure that the things will further change when I start with my MBA or PGDM or whatever it might be … in which direction , I can’t predict as of now .. Because I have learnt that the one thing that never changes … is the change itself … 😉