CRITICAL …

The entrance examinations have started knocking at the door . Its not long when the time will seriously start flyingΒ  and it would be almost impossible to put a check over it ……

My life , right now , is marked by a cadence of emotional ups and downs … sometimes I am as full of spirit as any other soul on this planet … and sometimes I am buried so deep inside that even the dead lying in the graves deride me …….

My life , right now , is marked by the incoming and outgoing of all types of forms , which I have to fill in order to ensure a security lest I fail to deliver the knockout punch …..

And my life , right now , is marked by some very unusual “unlike me” events , which I , myself , am unable to comprehend … The things which shaped up in last few weeks were totally unexpected … May be I did all those things out of sheer frustration … Or may be this is what I have become … Still unsure whether this is a “make” or “break” …. Still unsure whether I should regret what I have done or go through with the same …. Still unsure about many things …. The thing which appears right at one moment … flips 180 degree the very other moment … I know a thorough introspection is called for …. But that is what I have been doing for so long … without any avail …!!!!!!!!

Its just over a month to go before I face the most critical test …. The test which will decide whether I live up to my potential or I go down , once again , failing everyone’s expectations ….. Yes I am scared … and am not shy of admitting the same …. I have already failed once and don’t want it to repeat … not at any cost …. Frustration keeps showing up at regular intervals …. And as the time is approaching , its becoming far more frequent for my comfort ….

I am trying to give my cent percent input …. Trying to focus …. every single minute I am trying to focus … But its easier said than done … One or the other unwanted thing maintain a permanent residence in my mind … which I am finding difficult to do away with …. The burden of expectations and the fear of failure , accompanied by many a things which give a push to these two factors , have turned me real crazy ……

I know that I need to do away with all the materialistic things at the moment …. but that is exactly the thing I am unable to do …. I know this is an important junction … but this is the very time when all those things intensify …. I know that its Do or Die …. but this is the very time I look at Die much more often than I look at Do …!!!!

Crunch time is it ??? … Real test is it ??? … Life is it ??? … then let it be …!!!!

10 Comments

  1. If you are not worrying like this .. then it would be unnatural!! Nicely written, it’s just the same where everyone goes through when they are about to attempt a very important task in the life!! Few express, few don’t and few boast.

    Do the best and leave the rest. As you said, Life it is! It always gives what’s best for us. Wishing you Success!! Keep Smiling Harshu πŸ™‚

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  2. Harsh, if you’re trying to live up to YOUR expectation, nothing will go wrong; but if you try to live up to someone else’s expectation, the fear of failure will be horrible!

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  3. Harsh.. I tell you.. just make sure you put in your best effort and never worry about the results.. as scorpia says just check whether u r upto ur expectation because nobody knows better than you..

    You will do well Harsh.. πŸ™‚ All the best πŸ™‚

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