The old tree and the murky sky
Looked at me and asked the question
Who are you?
Not the name. Everyone knows the name.
Who are you underneath.
Do you know? They asked.
What makes you think I am answerable to you?
What gives you power over me?
The tree. You are old and weak.
You have no time left here.
The sky. It’s approaching twilight.
You will soon disappear into darkness.
Why should I listen to you?
I might be gone, but my seeds will remain.
I will leave behind more than I ever had in this life form, the tree said.
I looked at the sky. The emotionless canvas stretching towards infinity.
The darkness might consume me but I will still fight.
And rise from within it, like a phoenix, the sky chuckled at my contempt.
It was approaching twilight.
The tree already looked dead. The sky sad.
I was angry. My thoughts were not clear.
I could not stand it any more. I reached for the blinds.
One last glimpse out of the window before I shut the view.
There was a lot of movement outside.
Birds were making their way home.
No one would surely want you as their home, I laughed at the tree.
The tree did not respond. It was dead by now.
The only thing I could hear was incessant squawking.
A pandemonium of parrots rushed by, interrupting my moment of victory.
I looked on as they made their way into the holes in that tree.
The tree, which I thought was dead, looked at me and smiled.
Who are you, it asked one last time before falling into darkness.
Do you like when it sparkles, asked the sky.
I looked at the stars as they shone in my eyes.
The sky was looking spectacular.
Darkness did not consume it. Neither did it try to fight darkness.
It accepted the night the way it is and turned it into something beautiful.
My ego could not stand it any longer. I finally pulled the blinds.
The tree was not dead. The sky was not sad.
They were in a state of calm.
A state of calm I always strive to achieve.
Why do they talk to me?
How are they so composed while I am so angry?
What gives them the power to make good of such adversities?
The answers would come, I thought.
But only if I know the right questions to ask.
I could see it now. The reason for my anger. The cause behind my discontent.
It was not the sky. It was not the tree.
It was me asking that question to myself.
Who are you?
I was blinded by a light.
Too blinded to see the darkness that it was building in the hindsight.
My sub-conscious begged me to take cognizance of the same.
But I was too blinded by the light.
With time I started noticing the shadows the light had created all around me.
It was not until it started feeding off me.
It was not until I realized the light was artificial.
Fueled by the perception of false shine I had.
I knew I had to make a choice. To move towards truth, which was tough, or to be stuck in the false realm, which was comforting.
Then there came a few torch bearers.
A few good men who took the initiative to reach out to me.
They did not lead me out of the reach of the light. But they did show me the path.
For years now I have had conflict of thoughts.
A part of me still favored the light. It thought the light was innocent.
I felt weak many a times and succumbed to the false reality.
I gave in to the light.
Then I saw many others who were blinded by the light.
My guardian angels helped me see that.
For a long time I kept searching for the answers.
There came none.
I had never resisted the light for such a long time as I had done then.
I had to bred hatred towards the light in order to escape it.
I distant myself from it but the shine still occupied my mind.
I knew I had to completely kill that shine before it took control of me again.
I found a new light.
A light I can directly look into without being blinded.
A light that hid no lies.
A light that helped me discover myself.
A light that made me question everything, for my own good.
I came out a new person.
I no longer longed for the light, for the shine.
I moved forward with a confidence that was long lost.
I moved forward with my torch bearers. A few good men that never left my side.
I look at the idol of Lord Shiva and smile.
For I have discovered the truth. My truth.
And it is beautiful.
Good morning everyone ! Sorry to break it to you but we are already two months down in the new year. It’s already March. But I don’t wish to complain. World T20 is here. And Team India is in terrific form. Hope they win World Cup on the top of the Micromax Asia Cup (or have I spoken too soon?)
An interesting thing happened today. I was digging up some of my old pics from my long lost Hard Disk and somehow landed in this particular folder. My Diary.one lay there in all its pride. I had almost forgot about it. This was one diary that I scribbled (not literally – just some keystrokes I meant) everything on during my engineering days. Funny that I should find it. I did remember that I kept it locked and password was one that no mortal could crack. No way I could get through that defence. But then I realize that it is already 1 in the night and I have nothing useful to do. Plus MS OneNote doesn’t lock you out for unsuccessful attempts (That is my good guess – Though I can bet for two attempts at least coz it cracked open the third time).